Week 6 of the Year of Fear


Morgan’s Fear(s): Stand Up Paddle Boarding (SUP) & Froyo

So this week was a double dose of fearfulness. To start, on Wednesday I went out on my first ever paddle board adventure with my Mum. The good news; I didn’t fall. The disappointing news (at least from my perspective); I didn’t follow through on wearing my swimsuit for the occasion. Originally, I had set out to do SUP in a swimsuit but when it came down to it, I psyched myself out. although I’m glad I conquered SUP, I am a little disappointed that I couldn’t summon the courage to do it in a swimsuit. I guess it’s a good start.

As a follow up from last week, I did manage to get my froyo this Sunday. In comparison with SUP, this one turned out to be far more scary. Not being able to measure out my serving and not knowing exactly what the calorie count was catalyzed a rollercoaster of emotions before, during and after the whole thing was said and done. I was convinced everyone in the froyo place was judging me and thinking something along the lines of: “What is that fat ass doing getting desert? She definitely doesn’t need the extra calories.


Although I did get my froyo in, it was a very small amount and I couldn’t bring myself to get any extra toppings on it. The measly amount of frozen yogurt was dwarfed by the paper cup and I felt a bit sheepish when I presented my helping to the cashier. All things considered, I’m glad I did it but I know I still have room to push myself farther than I ended up going. Once again, at least it’s a start.

Chris’s Week of Fear: Intuitive Eating–Whatever that means

It’s been a week of intuitive eating, and I still do not really know what it means. I read a bunch of articles and study on it and all I could come up withis:

  •  listening to your body,
  • eating when you are hungry,
  • stopping when you are full,
  • ditching the “shoulds,”
  • let your body measure the portions
  • asking yourself what you want to eat in that moment.

So I tried it and I honestly did not eat any differently than I normally do because that was what I felt my body wanted. Even then though I am not sure if it really was what I wanted or not.

It was also tough because if I listened to what my body wanted, most of the stuff I wanted like cereal or quest bars were not in the house or near by and I did not feel like going out to buy it.

I also found myself wanting to eat nothing.  The first day for example I took part in a study that required me to fast till 11, which I did, but after that I did not want to eat anything so I didn’t. By 3pm I still had eaten nothing since dinner the previous day, so I forced myself to eat, which was not very intuitive but I knew I needed the calories. It was similar on other days too.


It was also hard to break the mental games of counting calories mentally. During the week, I did not track calories before eating but let me body set the portions but my mind would play mental games on me and cut portions. It was hard to break out of this.

Over the course of the week, I did have more splurges that usual like the Froyo yesterday, my favorite Kashi cereal, Fiber One, and Quest bars, but I did not lose or gain weight. I woke up this morning at the same weight as I was a week ago. which is a relief and surprising. I did find some comfort in this, that I could let go of the control and trust my body more.

I do not think though that I will be continuing. This week I resume more structured training so not eating even when I am not hungry is out of the question. Also even though I may want Kashi and Quest bars, I know that they are not the greatest for me nor help me with my goals so will be put on the “relaxed day menu” but not the “every day menu.”

While an interesting experiment, intuitive eating is still not for me. Next week: Doughnuts

Homer doughnuts

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